Women's Radio....

[Sandy G]

Lauriann & I have this unwritten rule that whomever's car we ride in, THAT'S who gets to work the radio.Fair enuff. We went to Kingsport this afternoon in her Touareg, so I had to listen to The Martha Fuckinstewart Channel on XM. Goin' up there was some nasally dude reading a book he'd written on leaf piles or some gawdam thing, on the way home I was aurally assaulted by these 2 dipsomaniacal strumpets named Alexis & Jennifer, their show was called "Whatever ?!?", both seemed to be typically maladjusted denizens of somewhere in Connecticut. They had that asinine, grating nasally whine that dipsomaniacal strumpets typically have, along w/that equally grating, "I'm SO much better than you are, 'cause I live in Connecticut" accent/attitude. They are obviously fixated on penises, the few times I have been unlucky enuff to have been FORCED to listen to 'em, they can't seem to go for more than 5 minutes max before one or the other is talking/bragging/complaining about some guy's schlong, that is, when they're NOT deriving great glee running down activities or interests of folks in bumblefunck flyover country. Why this is, I'll leave up to your imagination, but to me there is nothing much more tiresome than listening to some nasally-voiced bint whine incessantly about Doing It, and/or making upper-class twit fun of things most of the rest of us who AREN'T privaleged enuff to live in Connecticut enjoy doing...I always thought that it was unfair & bad that the Bush Administration persecuted Martha Fuckinstewart on what seemed to be the flimsiest of pretexts, & it seemed at the time that it was mainly because Martha was/is a Flaming Liberal Dimocrat. I now take that back, & postulate that Bushitler didn't go far enuf. She & her rancid spoor daughter, who is one of said Bints on this show, should have been terminated w/Extreme Prejudice, & had their bones ground up & thrown in a faraway Ocean...

[BlueStreak]

So, I take it you didn't care for the program?

Dave

[d-ray657]

Ry Cooder has a great song about when women rule the world. I think it's on "Paradise and Lunch."

The price for having ever oogled buxom babes is hearing nasally voiced valley girls discuss their quest for the perfect sausage.

Regards,

D-Ray

[JJIII]

Sandy, that is an epic rant if ever there was one! Congratulations! :D

[Charles]

I donno Sandy, Martha Fuckinstewart was a stock broker and knew damn well she was breaking the law. I'll bet when she's not on the air she's cruder than a Marine DI.

Personally, I never could understand how wimmen would sit around and watch shit like Okra, Dr. Phool, those horrible soap operies...and read those insipid romance novels.

My heart goes out to ya, it musta been sheer torture!!! Even worse than Kitchen Klatter.

Chas

[Charles]

Ry Cooder has a great song about when women rule the world. I think it's on "Paradise and Lunch."

The price for having ever oogled buxom babes is hearing nasally voiced valley girls discuss their quest for the perfect sausage.

Regards,

D-Ray

Ry Cooder fan, huh? I was always partial to "Into the Purple Valley".

It must be disheartening for the fairer sex once they realize that the perfect sausage comes attached to an insensitive lout who sits around in his shorts, farting and picking his nose.

Chas

[Sandy G]

At least w/Kitchen Klatter, my febrile mind-Sick tho it is-Could have conjured up-"Here we are, F!ckin' in th' Kitchin, bangin' on th' Potz 'n' Panz..." Especially w/that Nigella gal...She can Whip my Souffle' ANYTIME... but both of these slags sounded like out-of-tune dentist drills...Wanted to reach thru the radio, grab them insufferable Twits by the necks & just 3-Stooges-style bichslap 'em until their Freckles Rattled....

[HatchetJack]

Next time they torture you like that light up a big green cigar and smoke em
out. Hell I gotta have drink after hearing that.

[Charles]

At least w/Kitchen Klatter, my febrile mind-Sick tho it is-Could have conjured up-"Here we are, F!ckin' in th' Kitchin, bangin' on th' Potz 'n' Panz..." Especially w/that Nigella gal...She can Whip my Souffle' ANYTIME... but both of these slags sounded like out-of-tune dentist drills...Wanted to reach thru the radio, grab them insufferable Twits by the necks & just 3-Stooges-style bichslap 'em until their Freckles Rattled....

Hows Lauriann feel about watching reruns of Bill Dance?

Besides, you've got me wondering. Does every dumb peckerwood from down South have a wife named Lauriann or Peggysue, or are we just lucky?

Chas

[Sandy G]

Oh, we gots one down here that beats the bells offa Bill Dance...Virgil Q. Wacks... Makes Bill's stuff look like Emmy-material...Speakin' of names, I oughta start a rant on Stupid Names. My 1st cousin is an elemantary-school teacher, she has a kid this year whose name is pronounced "Sha-He-Ahd", but is spelt S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D...I'm NOT kidding. I dated a gal years ago who was a Hiskule teacher, she had a black kid in one of her classes whose moniker was "Shoo-Be-Doo-Ba Williams". Thing of it was, she said he was actually a real nice kid, smart, soft-spoken, polite... But our rednecks can come up w/some Lu-Lus, too....My sister knew a guy who named his daughter, "Cheyenne Dakota", after Chevy & Dodge trucks. Like Tater Salad sez, "You CAN'T fix Stupid..."

[Writewing]

I think I gave that Dakota chic a buck in her G string last month

[Charles]

Oh, we gots one down here that beats the bells offa Bill Dance...Virgil Q. Wacks... Makes Bill's stuff look like Emmy-material...Speakin' of names, I oughta start a rant on Stupid Names. My 1st cousin is an elemantary-school teacher, she has a kid this year whose name is pronounced "Sha-He-Ahd", but is spelt S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D...I'm NOT kidding. I dated a gal years ago who was a Hiskule teacher, she had a black kid in one of her classes whose moniker was "Shoo-Be-Doo-Ba Williams". Thing of it was, she said he was actually a real nice kid, smart, soft-spoken, polite... But our rednecks can come up w/some Lu-Lus, too....My sister knew a guy who named his daughter, "Cheyenne Dakota", after Chevy & Dodge trucks. Like Tater Salad sez, "You CAN'T fix Stupid..."

Sounds like it's a laugh a minute down there in Tennessee!!!

Kind of reminds me of a feller I know, farmer, and a furrier. He put personalized tags on his wife's car which read "Fur-4-U". I don't think either one of them made the connection.

Also drove by the local racetrack, XX Speedway, back in the spring. They had a sign up which read "XX Speedway, featuring topless midgets". Knowing them folks, I don't think they made the connection either.

Chas

[merrylander]

I take it you don't like Miss Perfect, fortunately Florence can't stand her, or Oprah, or Dr. Phil. One place that I briefly was consulting at the shop staff watched Jerry Springer over lunch, I ate at my desk cause that would have made me chuck my cookies.

[Sandy G]

The Patron Saint of Po' White Trash-Jerry Springer. No matter how miserable your existence is, how low you think you've fallen, just watch an episode or 2 of Jerry, & you'll soon realise that you've barely scratched the surface...One of my faves was this mouth-breather they had on a year or so ago, Diamond Dave & his "Ninjy" school, where he'd teach you how to be a death-dealin' "Ninjy", utilizing "Judy (judo) Chops", & how you'd hafta "register yer hands as DEADLY weapons w/the Po-Leese"..And yr wife/girlfriend/main squeeze could take the classes too, & learn to be a "Ninjetty" (ninjette, I assume)....

[d-ray657]

Sounds like it's a laugh a minute down there in Tennessee!!!

Kind of reminds me of a feller I know, farmer, and a furrier. He put personalized tags on his wife's car which read "Fur-4-U". I don't think either one of them made the connection.

Also drove by the local racetrack, XX Speedway, back in the spring. They had a sign up which read "XX Speedway, featuring topless midgets". Knowing them folks, I don't think they made the connection either.

Chas

But you have to go to Oklahoma to find "Jesus Saves Auto Parts" salvage yard.

Regards,

D-Ray

[Boreas]

But you have to go to Oklahoma to find "Jesus Saves Auto Parts" salvage yard.

Regards,

D-Ray

And those huge hands at ORU. Truly weird.

John

[merrylander]

But you have to go to Oklahoma to find "Jesus Saves Auto Parts" salvage yard.

Regards,

D-Ray

Up in New England there is a big factory with a sign on the roof that says "Stanleys Tool Works":cool:

[d-ray657]

And those huge hands at ORU. Truly weird.

John

As the story goes, the engineers were having a heckuva time getting the hands to stay together. Finally one of the workers climbed up a ladder and dropped a dollar bill over them. They clamped together around that greenback before you could say pass the plate.

Regards,

D-Ray

[finnbow]

Sandy - I thank the benevolent gods that you didn't bail on us. That was truly a world-class rant. You are a credit to your kind (and kin). Keep the fur flyin'.

[Fast_Eddie]

As many of you know I work at a television station. Times have been tough and we've had cutbacks, so no longer do I have three televisions in my office, only two. An HD flat screen and an "old" TV. Of course there's a Magnavox tube amp in between that I plug my iPod into.

Our station runs Dr.Phil at 3:00 and Oprah at 4:00 so I see some of each almost every day depending on meetings and shoots and such. When Phil started, I liked him. His classic "how's that workin' for you?" was a pretty good real life call to take responsibility for your own life. If what you're doing now isn't working, maybe try something else. Drunk housewife doesn't like her life, maybe give AA a try, see how that works. He used to tell folks if they were paying someone to manage their lives, would they say that person was doing a good job? Of course, we're all managing our lives, so it's a good question. Made me think. I learned some things from Phil. Before long, though, it turned into a shlock pile o' crap. Can't stand it now.

Oprah, on the other hand, I can usually enjoy. I don't have the luxury of sitting for an hour and just watching, but it's on and at 4:00 I'm usually in a more quiet part of my day. So I see a good bit of it while I'm working on stuff. There's some damned good stuff on Oprah. The Dr. Oz stuff was outstanding before he went and started his own show. (I should start putting Dr. Oz on "the other" TV while Phil is on. Might learn something). Oprah can go pretty out there sometimes and I wonder what she was sniffin' before the show. But a lot of times it's pretty good stuff. Can't stand the celebrity interview stuff. Just not my cup of tea. But I learn a lot on Oprah. Shoot, I'd go so far as to say my life is better because of my exposure to that show. She's pretty smart.

Funny asside, I have been to the Oprah studios for a meeting. Didn't meet O herself, but talked to a lot of her marketing and research people. In the opperation they have to call her "Ms. Winfrey". No joke. Can you imagine working for someone who has made their fist name a brand unto itself and no addressing them by that name? Weird. Ms. Winfrey?

Just random thoughts more or less on the related topic.

[merrylander]

I believe she was a local (Charm City) girl before she went bigtime.

[Boreas]

As the story goes, the engineers were having a heckuva time getting the hands to stay together. Finally one of the workers climbed up a ladder and dropped a dollar bill over them. They clamped together around that greenback before you could say pass the plate.

Regards,

D-Ray

Hah! That is truly funny! :D

First laugh of the day and probably the best.

John

[Boreas]

Our station runs Dr.Phil at 3:00 and Oprah at 4:00 so I see some of each almost every day depending on meetings and shoots and such.

I watch so little TV (and when I do it's probably gonna be cable) that I don't think I've ever seen either show. What I know about Dr. Phil and Oprah these days is all second hand.

That being said, Oprah's first gig in a major market was as co-anchor on a local noontime news and chat show in Baltimore called "People Are Talking". I was fairly familiar with that. This was a long time ago, probably in the '70s and '80s, but even then it was clear that she was pretty darned special. I like her.

John

[Boreas]

I believe she was a local (Charm City) girl before she went bigtime.

OOPS! I didn't see this before I posted.

Yes, Rob, you're right. She was on WJZ. From there she went directly to Chicago and the rest, as they say, is history.

John

[merrylander]

Florence remembers her, I was not in the country back then, though I do watch WJZ for local news, the WMAL stsion it a tad biased for my taste. One of the co-anchors, Sally Thorner, just retired guess the hours were getting to her.

[d-ray657]

I watch so little TV (and when I do it's probably gonna be cable) that I don't think I've ever seen either show. What I know about Dr. Phil and Oprah these days is all second hand.

That being said, Oprah's first gig in a major market was as co-anchor on a local noontime news and chat show in Baltimore called "People Are Talking". I was fairly familiar with that. This was a long time ago, probably in the '70s and '80s, but even then it was clear that she was pretty darned special. I like her.

John

Our first exposure to her was in "The Color Purple." Without it sounding too much like saying "they were a credit to their race," two of the female leads in that movie did a lot to change the perception African American women in American culture.

Regards,

D-Ray

[Boreas]

Florence remembers her, I was not in the country back then, though I do watch WJZ for local news, the WMAL stsion it a tad biased for my taste. One of the co-anchors, Sally Thorner, just retired guess the hours were getting to her.

I remember Sally Thorner. Liked her. She went to WMAL in DC or WMAR in Ballmer? Christ, I think she was on WBAL when I lived back there. Musical chairs!

John

[EDIT] Man, I've been gone too long. WMAL-TV is now WJLA.

[merrylander]

I remember Sally Thorner. Liked her. She went to WMAL in DC or WMAR in Ballmer? Christ, I think she was on WBAL when I lived back there. Musical chairs!

John

[EDIT] Man, I've been gone too long. WMAL-TV is now WJLA.

Oops, that's the one, bunch of republican apologists.:D

Sally was on WJZ ever since I have been here in 1984. She and Denise Koch were the
two female co anchors, Sally was replaced by Susan Bubala, good news reader.