You'll get through it. I have lost good friends and a younger brother to it and you're right about it being horrid. Stay strong as Dave said and get a support system going. AA or NA has helped many a soul through it. Get a sponsor and hit some meetings, bro. A nudge from a judge many, many years ago helped me to see the light.
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I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
- Mr. Underhill