Is this how to parent?

[noonereal]

Originally Posted by d-ray657

Noone, I wasn't suggesting at all that you are a too-lenient parent. I was making general observations. Even now, it is surprising when the boys tell us that they appreciate the discipline that they had growing up, because they have seen friends and acquaintances making all sort of damaging choices.

A couple of those kids, however, are ones that were never given the opportunity to make choices. Their parents dictated all choices and were strict to the point of stifling them. Just like the kids who had little discipline, these kids have difficulty making choices once they are on their own. Having not had the opportunity to rebel a bit and start breaking the bonds in the teenage years, they tried to make up for lost time when they got to college.

Bottom line - parenting is more of an art than a science, but just like art, there are methods that provide form and guidance.

As far as the kid in the video, the handcuffs were probably over the top, and I might have had a different idea, but I can't fault the mom for seeking some intervention that was going to the the point across. You can't expect to keep all sorts of danger away from kids, they need to learn how to avoid it on their own too. Once this little boy was bitten by the bug, he was going to find a way to play with fire. Fortunately his consequence was talking to a cop rather than recovering from serious burns. At least the mom was engaged enough that she didn't just give up.

Regards,

D-Ray

The kid is 5. You know how long the attention span of a 5 year old is?

That aside I could not agree with you more. I always like to make my kids part of the decision making process.
When they understand that their opinion is valued they are both confident and secure. When they are respected they respect. That's the trick to raising kids. You can't teach a kid respect by force.