Fresh in from my cousin in the UK, names changed to suit our situation.
Man dies and goes to heaven. He notices a wall full of clocks behind S.t Peter.
Man; What are all those clocks?
St. P: Those are the lie clocks.
Man: Lie clocks?
St. P: Yes, everyone has one and they move everytime the person lies.
Man: That one does not seem to have ever moved.
St.P: That is Mother Theresa's clock, she never told a lie.
Man: That one seems to have moved twice.
St.P: That is Abraham Lincoln's he only ever told two lies.
Man: Where is (John Boehner's, Nancy Pelosi's, Mitch McConnell's, Harry Ried's) Clock? (Pick one)
St.P: Jesus has it in his office, he is using it as a ceiling fan.