It's friday.

[Chicks]

Nation Shocked That Giuliani Has Associates

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After learning that two of Rudy Giuliani’s associates had been charged with federal campaign-finance crimes, millions of Americans expressed their stunned disbelief that Giuliani had associates.

“By ‘associates,’ do they mean people who actually associate with Giuliani?” Carol Foyler, who lives in St. Louis, said. “This whole story doesn’t add up.”

“I read that these quote-unquote associates of Giuliani’s were actually business associates,” Tracy Klugian, of Butte, Montana, said. “If that means he was paying them a lot of money to associate with him, that could explain everything.”

“It said on the news that these associates were foreign-born,” Kevin Lockdale, of Portland, Maine, said. “Maybe they don’t speak English too well and so they don’t realize that everything Giuliani says is batshit. I mean, I know I’m grasping at straws, but I’m trying to make sense of this whole associates thing.”

Harland Dorrinson, a clinical psychologist who has done a ten-year study on the social isolation of despised people, said that the existence of Giuliani’s two associates should give “hope to the detestable” everywhere. “Honestly, if Giuliani can have associates, anyone can,” he said.

[Chicks]

Federal Government To Recognize Columbo Day Instead of Columbus Day From Now On

http://www.breakingburgh.com/federal...y-from-now-on/

Just one more thing...


Edit: Just read the comments on this satire site, from idiot Trumpkins. They're so freakin' clueless, they will believe ANYTHING, lol.

[Chicks]

Frito-Lay Changes Color Of Cheetos To Avoid Association With Trump

http://www.breakingburgh.com/frito-l...on-with-trump/

Lol.

[Chicks]

Giuliani! (Here He Goes Again)

https://youtu.be/upBCQo5bkJc

[bobabode]

90 degrees at the moment and heading toward 94 later on this afternoon. At least we aren't seeing any of these wildfires nearby but I expect that air quality is going to take hit here in the L.A. Basin. Ohhh, joy.

[Chicks]

Announcing the death of a terrorist: a real president vs the current illegal occupant of the Oval Office.

https://youtu.be/OsBOWSjOLsE

[Chicks]

Monster Crash - Brexit Halloween with Jacob Rees-Mogg and the Ghost Tories

https://youtu.be/-j_CxQFziFU

[Chicks]

TRIBUTE BANDS FOR CONSPIRACY THEORISTS
by TOM RUSSELL and WENDI AARONS

Flat Earth, Wind & Fire

IllumiNaughtyByNature

Fluoride and the Machine

False Black Flag

My Chemical-trails Romance

The Mamas and the Papas Who Don’t Vaccinate Their Kids

Guided By Voices On Fox News

Pizzagato Five

CruëAnon

Run D.N.C. Server

Steely Dossier

Jefferson Airplane Fuel Cannot Melt Steel Beams

The Jonas Birthers

A Tribe Called Question Obama’s Birthplace

Ladysmith Black Helicopters

The Dead Kennedys Assassination Was Done By the CIA

Gang of 4Chan

Unmarked Van Morrison

Simple Minds Control

Deep Purple State

And You Will Know The Clintons By the Trail of Dead

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Epstein Was Definitely Murdered

Soft Cell Security

BenFugazi

Opus Dei and the Knights

Jimmy Hoffa Eats World

Huey Lewis And The Fake News

Men At Work Controlling The Media

They Might Be Giant 400 Lb Guys Sitting On A Bed, Okay?

Bush Did 9/11

[Chicks]

Someone placed a tiny border wall around Donald Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame Star

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/ggrMf

Brilliant!

[Chicks]

LA MALBAIE, CANADA (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that they were “tremendously relieved” that Donald J. Trump is leaving the G-7 summit early, the leaders of France and Canada said on Friday that they had been planning not to tell Trump the location of the G-7 after party.

Speaking to reporters, Emmanuel Macron and Justin Trudeau said that there had been “total consensus” among non-U.S. participants to withhold information about the time, place, and existence of an after party from Trump.

“The plan was, if Trump asked about an after party, we were going to be, like, ‘Ask Angela Merkel,’ ” Macron said. “Angela was going to totally stonewall him.”

Merkel confirmed that she had planned to tell Trump that she “didn’t think anyone was planning to do anything” after the summit and steadfastly to deny “hearing anything” about an after party.

“I would have had no problem lying to him, despite our two countries going way back, to D-Day or whenever,” Merkel said, rolling her eyes.

Trudeau said that the after party will proceed as scheduled when the G-7 concludes, on Saturday, adding, “Now that Trump is out of here, we’ll really have something to celebrate.”