Ray Rice fiasco

[donquixote99]

People are not all good, or all evil. There are many shades of grey. I submit that a person who beats a kid, once in a great while, for cause and with cultural sanction, is a much lighter shade of grey than a person who makes a habit of inventing and inflicting extreme torment every day. To lump both into a single category, "child abuser," is claptrap.

[merrylander]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Disobedience caused God to lay the Biblical lumber to those who did not adhere to his will.

Good enough for God but not for man?

Like every other disaster we rush to blame it all on God. That does not match the First John Chapter four verse eight, I would rather believe that.

[merrylander]

Originally Posted by donquixote99

People are not all good, or all evil. There are many shades of grey. I submit that a person who beats a kid, once in a great while, for cause and with cultural sanction, is a much lighter shade of grey than a person who makes a habit of inventing and inflicting extreme torment every day. To lump both into a single category, "child abuser," is claptrap.

DQ I think we get mixed up because we sometimes equate love and sex, the Greeks were much smarter they had four words for love and the only one involving sex is eros.

There were two girls back home whose fathers probably could not show them love because oof that problem. Well they went looking for love elsewhere but they found false love that disappeared when they became pregnant. What really angered me was when the parents shipped them off somewhere. The very time when they needed parental love (storge in Greek) they were denied it probably to save the parents embarrassment. C.s. Lewis refers to parental love as 'need love' as children, especially girl children do need it.

As humans we can be deprived of many things considered essential for life yet we survive. Deprive us of love and we die spiritually if not physically.

To be perfectly honest had Florence and I not met when we did I doubt that either of us would be alive today

[merrylander]

Originally Posted by donquixote99

People are not all good, or all evil. There are many shades of grey. I submit that a person who beats a kid, once in a great while, for cause and with cultural sanction, is a much lighter shade of grey than a person who makes a habit of inventing and inflicting extreme torment every day. To lump both into a single category, "child abuser," is claptrap.

I missed that in my last response and to be honest it makes my spine shivver.

[donquixote99]

Your spine shivers at the fact that a culture can make 'spare the rod and spoil the child' a byword?

Well, my spine has been shivering some lately too, now that you mention it. But regarding a different matter.

Just goes to show, you will never find one single human being who's beliefs and actions are all logically consistent.

[Tom Joad]

Originally Posted by donquixote99

Just goes to show, you will never find one single human being who's beliefs and actions are all logically consistent.

"Human beings are walking contradictions"

That's what my Junior College Logic 101 Professor Thomas O'Kelley (who was a dead ringer for Doc Adams of Gunsmoke) used to say.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by merrylander

Like every other disaster we rush to blame it all on God. That does not match the First John Chapter four verse eight, I would rather believe that.

Respectfully, that's the problem.

We don't get to choose what others believe.

[merrylander]

Originally Posted by donquixote99

Your spine shivers at the fact that a culture can make 'spare the rod and spoil the child' a byword?

Well, my spine has been shivering some lately too, now that you mention it. But regarding a different matter.

Just goes to show, you will never find one single human being who's beliefs and actions are all logically consistent.

I think that was in reference to artificial insemination.

Come on over some time and I'll break out some beer, or coffee.

Of course we could always adopt Sharia or Wahabbist law, then if our daughters go wrong we can simply kill them - that is also a 'culture'.

[merrylander]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Respectfully, that's the problem.

We don't get to choose what others believe.

Unless you have loads and loads of money or are the head of some church, but even then they only pay lip service.

Used to be that a man was allowed to beat his wife as long as the stick was no bigger around than his thumb.

No you are right, unfortunately I don't get to choose what others believe but that will not stop me from trying to educate them. It is rather like beating one's head against a cement wall, probably why I have to take sabbaticals from time to time.

[noonereal]

Originally Posted by piece-itpete

Seeing as my dad, a kind, compassionate, helpful man, used a belt - he was an abuser?

I beg to differ, greatly, and will never agree.

Pete

I never punished my kids.

i allowed them to deal with the consequences of their actions.

taking this approach eliminates resentments which can further deteriorate relationships.

also, this approach makes you part of a support team for your child rather than an adversary. We all know a secure child is a much better adjusted adult.

when my youngest was in grade school for example she was know to have the strictest parent of all her friends yet no hitting and no punishments. consequences

it's not semantics, it's approach