It's friday.

[donquixote99]

LOL! The U.S./Germany relationship that goes back to D-Day is not exactly the same as the U.S./Britain relationship that goes back to D-Day.....

[Chicks]

Trump Named Person of the Year by Popular Sociopath Magazine

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—For the third year in a row, Donald J. Trump has been named Person of the Year by the magazine Popular Sociopath, the publication announced on Thursday.

“Once a year, we at Popular Sociopath recognize the person who best epitomizes sociopathic-personality disorder, which manifests in antisocial behavior and a total absence of conscience and concern for others,” Harland Dorrinson, the magazine’s editor, said. “We are delighted to bestow this honor, once again, on Donald J. Trump.”

Dorrinson said that Trump bested a daunting roster of competitors for the title, including the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell; the Fox News host Tucker Carlson; and Trump’s own son Donald J. Trump, Jr.

“Honestly, though, it wasn’t close,” the editor said.

When asked if he had reached out to his son since surpassing him for the magazine’s honor, Trump told reporters, “Why would I do that? I don’t care what he thinks or feels. This is all about me. What a stupid question. You’re worthless.”

[donquixote99]

^^^The last bit captures Trump utterly.

[Chicks]

...and morons actually take these evangelicals seriously... SMH.

[Oerets]

Originally Posted by Chicks

...and morons actually take these evangelicals seriously... SMH.

WTF!

This for real????

[donquixote99]

The above is the parody, the altered version of the truly deplorable real evangelical billboard. The original says "Are you gay or lesbian and don't want to be?"

[Oerets]

What is sad, they actually believe in praying away the gay. Like it needs to be in the first place. Just remembering what Jesus taught about love and compassion of others would alone be enough to end this kind of thinking!

[Chicks]

BLOOMBERG TO SPEND TEN BILLION DOLLARS TO BUY ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSONALITY
Campaign advisers indicated that the eleven-figure outlay would be used to purchase warmth, empathy, and humanity.

LAS VEGAS (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly after the Democratic Presidential debate on Wednesday night, aides to Michael Bloomberg announced that he would spend ten billion dollars to buy an entirely new personality.

Acknowledging that some attributes of the former New York mayor’s new personality have yet to be ironed out, campaign advisers indicated that the eleven-figure outlay would be used to purchase warmth, empathy, and humanity.

Additionally, billions of Bloomberg’s war chest will be used to remove several unappetizing qualities from his current personality, including arrogance, touchiness, and a glaring inability to hide his contempt for others.

If all goes as planned, a thoroughly revamped and unrecognizable version of Bloomberg, called New Mike (TM), will be up and running in time for Super Tuesday.

But even as they announced the impending launch of Bloomberg’s new incarnation, campaign officials were careful to tamp down expectations. “In a perfect world, spending ten billion dollars on a new personality would make Mike an appealing person, but we’ll be happy with ‘not an asshole,’****” one aide said.

[Chicks]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After watching it suffer its worst losses since he became President, Donald Trump is “seriously considering” firing the Dow Jones Industrial Average, aides have confirmed.

According to the aides, Trump is “furious” at the D.J.I.A. for going down so precipitously and believes that it has treated him “very unfairly.”

“Increasingly, the President has become convinced that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not on his team,” one aide said. “Seeing the negative Dow numbers in the corner of the TV screen has been wrecking eleven hours of every day for him.”

Reportedly, Trump is mulling replacing the Dow with a new system, in which Sarah Huckabee Sanders would appear every day at 4 p.m. to announce how high stocks had skyrocketed.

En route to an appearance in Ohio, Trump stopped short of saying that he would ask for the stock market index’s resignation, but his contempt for the Dow was palpable.

“The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a disgrace, and it should be very, very ashamed of itself,” he said.

[Chicks]

QUACKERY: Christian megachurch cancels ‘faith healing’ service in response to coronavirus outbreak

https://deadstate.org/christian-mega...virus-outbreak

ROFL.