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  #81  
Old 10-06-2015, 07:04 AM
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JJIII JJIII is offline
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The two of you are in my thoughts, Rob.
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  #82  
Old 10-06-2015, 03:44 PM
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Apparently the chemo is already having an effect as the fluid is not building up so they removed the broken catheter this morning. If there is no longer the same build-up it will not be replaced.
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  #83  
Old 10-06-2015, 07:11 PM
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That has the chance of being very good news indeed!
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  #84  
Old 10-08-2015, 02:08 AM
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My heartfelt wishes to both of you Rob and best of luck.
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  #85  
Old 10-08-2015, 02:51 AM
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HarmanKardon HarmanKardon is offline
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I know it will not be very helpful for you, when I'm telling you this, but I'll do it anyway.

Mommy, born in 1927, suffered from FOUR different kinds of cancer.

Breast cancer with ablation of one breast
Cancer of the intestines with ablation of a part of the inestines
Ovary cancer
Cancer of the womb

Two things helped her to recover every time: her bravery of cosmic dimension (BTW, she survived the "Gustloff" sinking) and the love she got - of cosmic dimension as well.

Three years ago a quack doctor destroyed her left eye and now she got severe arthritis so that she can hardly walk anymore. But she still enjoys her home and garden and loves to watch satirical-political comedy shows. Her mind is still fine and we are very grateful for that.

Keep on keeping us updated, my friend.
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Last edited by HarmanKardon; 10-08-2015 at 02:59 AM.
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  #86  
Old 10-14-2015, 07:43 AM
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Thank all of you for your good wishes. Well they removed the damaged catheter and had rather hoped there would be no need for a replacement.

But she has had thoracocentesis twice since then removing 325ml and 350ml each time so next week they will install a new one. When all the dust settles I may ask our lawyer what we should do. That sad excuse for a doctor should really not be practicing.

She really wants to come home and God knows I want her here. She will fare better under my care simply because I am emotionally attached to her, something hospital staff cannot afford to be. Even as amateur a cook as I am my food is better. I look at her lunch tray and think - is this something she is supposed to eat or something she has already eaten? It is a fine art to be able to make food so unpalatable.
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  #87  
Old 10-14-2015, 11:20 AM
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Rob, I think, as long as there's the possibility of a crisis, Florence is probably in the right place. As long as you're able to spend your days with her, she'll have the benefits of your support and the immediate availability of qualified medical help.
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  #88  
Old 10-14-2015, 03:33 PM
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John they social worker sat with us this afternoon and I do believe she has convinced Florence to quietly give in. God only knows that she has been through Hell and back and must be so very tired. Look I know that I can lose her in a month, maybe two, and she must be so very tired of fighting that sleeping quietly as she passes into the light must have its appeal, but I have never known her to quit before. Then she has never faced so implacable an enemy before. I want to get her home so that when the time comes she will face it in the comfort of my arms and not among strangers. Will that time be in two weeks? Two months? Two years? I will gratefully take what we are given. I will also curse Monsanto to the grave and beyond.
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  #89  
Old 10-14-2015, 03:57 PM
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Rob, quitting isn't the same thing as acceptance. Our time here is finite. Sooner or later, we must all move on to whatever comes next. The key is to do so with grace, dignity and even happiness.

This seems to be what Florence is coming to realize. At some point the fight becomes counter-productive. It gets in the way of experience the joy of whatever time remains for us here and, really, does nothing to ease the pain of those we'll have to bid farewell. In fact, it can make the pain worse to see and to participate in an excruciatingly futile effort to deny mortality.

I learned this watching my aunt's leave-taking. (By the way, her mother's name and therefore my grandmother's name was Florence.) She fought and fought to beat the mesothelioma that was ravaging her but, when it became obvious that a lot of additional suffering would at best gain her only the smallest amount of additional time, she accepted the inevitable and shifted her focus to those closest to her, while we focused on making her remaining time, however much that might be, as easy and as joyful... and as normal as possible.

This is toughest for you, Rob, but to continue trying to forestall or to deny the inevitable only makes it harder. It can even make it harder for Florence because, by knowing how intensely you want her to stay with you, she may feel that, somehow, she's failing you. The most loving and the most caring thing you could do might just be to let her go.
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  #90  
Old 10-14-2015, 04:04 PM
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Prayers offered, Rob.
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