should my daughter visit her mother in jail? is there a benefit to visiting?

[1924]

Originally Posted by Ike Bana

The way I'm approaching this is...what I would do as opposed to what you should do.

She's 15, not 5 or 6, so if it were me, I would be attempting to figure out what she really wants to do. If she wants to see her mother and you won't allow it, you may find down the road that you are dealing with a level of resentment from your daughter that you did not imagine was possible. That also goes for being forced to visit her mother if she doesn't want that.

If it were me, I would be doing my best to find out what she actually wants, and make sure it's not what she says she wants because she fears that the wrong choice will make you or her mother unhappy. She needs to know that whatever her choice is...both her parents will support that choice. She's 15, and IMO old enough to choose. And two or three months from now she might change her mind...and if she does, I would support that.

That's what I would do.

I would say one other thing. If mom is PO'd if she finds out her daughter isn't coming...that's too bad. Mom wasn't thinking a whole lot about the consequences for her 15 year old daughter when she was in her decision making process. It doesn't seem to me this should be a whole lot about mom or dad's feelings.

she says she would not mind going. My wife says bring her if she wants to come.